In one of my recent speaking engagements, I came across a lady who was weeping and said that she has waited for long for the right partner but it seems her life was rather wasted and far advancing in age. Her words cut through my heart and I could not move but offer her some counseling.
Singles, the years you have spent waiting for the right partner are not wasted years but working years. It is a time to prepare for the next stage in life. Here are a few of the things you have to do during your waiting years before entering relationship and marriage:
10 Reasons Why Singles Waiting Time Is Not Wasted Time
- Prepare spiritually and deepen your relationship with God.
If you cannot deepen your relationship with God in your single days then it may be difficult for you to do so when you get married. Relationship and marital duties could weigh you down in life and you may not be able to stand the pressures of life.
Recently, I conducted a research to ascertain whether singles worship and serve God better than the married and surprisingly, some of the married ones attested to the fact that they served and worshiped God better when they were single than when they got married. Married couples who have a good devotional life in marriage developed the habit when they were single so make your singlehood a stage of worship onto God.
Your years of waiting and your singlehood should be dedicated to God. Seek the face and direction of God for a godly relationship leading to marriage.
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- Work on your character and temperament
You may be living on your own or with your parents and hardly share room with another person. Take note that you are now going to share room with someone who is different from you altogether. You have to work on your character and temperament for these can easily ruin a happy home. Your beauty and pulchritude can attract you to the right man as a woman but it is your character that keeps you in the marriage but not looks and shapes. Try your very best to work on any character people find bad and especially those that you know yourself which could negatively affect your marriage.
- Cultivate the habit of savings and be financially disciplined.
Avoid impulse and unnecessary buying for these get you broke and financially undisciplined. If you do not have any financial plan for your life then you are threading on a dangerous ground. It is your financial plan that will direct the course of your finances and even influence the kind of wedding you should have. Do not spend your money on flashing and luxurious phones, iPads and cars when you do not have any money in your account to cater for the most important things in your life.
- Read more about marriage, home management and how to plan your family
Marriage is not like reading the manual of an electronic appliance and getting it straight away. Marriage is very complex and dynamic. It is not all about performing your marital duties and that ends it. In fact, a lot goes into marriage. While still waiting for the right partner to come, it will be very important to read different things on the subject of marriage, home management and how to plan your family. Do not leave things to chance; it won’t work that way.
- Learn how to spice your sex in marriage
You are not entering marriage to learn about sex. No one goes to the exams hall to study but try recalling and reproducing what they had studied earlier. It is important to note that I’m not advocating premarital sex or sex experimenting sex here but you have to read something about before you marry. This could be done during time of counselling. Caution needs to be taken here since one could be easily tempted to practice what you have read. Work on your sexual orientations which may affect your marriage, weaknesses, sicknesses and other sexually related issues which are not appropriate. Remember that bad sex is one of the causes of divorce and cheating in marriage.
- Learn about Pregnancy, childbirth and raising children
Everyone can surely admit that the time of pregnancy, childbirth and raising children are difficult times so you need to be adequately informed. Marriage is not all about sex, more sex, a lot more sex and having children. A lot goes into planning the ideal family size, strategies to raise the children and plan for their future.
- Learn How to Handle Crisis
Do you know how to handle jealousy, loss of jobs, marital crisis, pressure from in-laws, death of partner, divorce, temporal separation and any other disturbing marital issues?
- Acquire A Skill or Learn A Trade
To many of you, your years of waiting for the right partner should be a time to develop yourself, attend college and acquire some certificates and learn new skills to increase your value and potentials getting a good job before marriage. It is surprisingly to know that some young ladies especially have not formal education and yet aren’t learning any trade to acquire some skills. My friends, your years of waiting is not a wasted time.
- Enjoy and Complete Your Single Life
Singlehood is a stage, a transition and time to do your very best. You must learn to enjoy your singlehood, be happy as a single and learn to complete your singlehood. Many people are married but are still living like singles. This will definitely affect your marriage.
Dear singles, your years of waiting are not for fun; not idle and wasted years to play around and be waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right to come before you start getting things done. Many people breakup not because their partners aren’t good enough but simply because they refused to break away from any temperamental or attitudinal characters that could mar a happy home.
Whatever thing your mind can conceive to do is possible. You only need to develop the right attitude, break away from habits and get things done.
Remember, your years of waiting are not wasted years at all but a time to work out for the future. It will be a wasted year if you sit down doing nothing and there you will surely go waste.
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