Categories
Love

20 Habits That Destroy Your Relationship & Marriage Faster

Love is a beautiful thing that can ever happen to you when you meet the right person and you guys really know what to do to keep the fire burning and stay happier. A happy relationship and marital life cannot be put on autopilot to survive. You have to work it out. In that same vein, there are some things that if you do not pay attention to them, they will destroy your relationship and marriage faster than you can ever imagine.

In this article, I will throw more light on the 20 habits that destroy your relationship and marriage faster in life. When done reading, kindly add your voice telling us your views and experiences about it.

20 Habits That Destroy Your Relationship Faster

  1. Lack of mutual respect

You cannot live and be happier with someone that does not respect you in life. Human beings are created to be loved, adored, appreciated and honoured. Our mutual existence is only possible when respect and the above are present. Never marry anyone that does not respect you, your values and your family members. You will be in slavery to marry someone who neither respects nor values you as well as your family.

  1. When love is missing

The only reason for which you will agree to date and marry someone is that you love the person and the person too does. You do not have any business in any relationship when love is missing. You are doing yourself more harm than good if you should continue with such a relationship.

In Other Shocking Story: My Sister’s Husband Raped Me

  1. When you talk too much, leak secrets and sensitive issues

I had a difficult time counseling a young man that finds it difficult to keep mute over some sensitive issues in his personal life and that of others. Having realized that he has a psychological problem, I referred him to see a professional psychologist having explained his conditions to him. He admits his problem, that’s not being able to keep secrets of other people and his own secrets. However, he has refused to see a professional for remedial solutions to his problem.

Over the weekend, he called me and told me he is engaged to a woman undergoing preparations to get married soon. Obviously, that young lady is the 7th to be dated. The earlier exes all jilted him because he talks too much, leaks secrets and sensitive issues. He who talks too much is likely to have all his sensitive issues becoming a public issue.

  1. When the woman is not ready to submit

Anyone that cannot learn to submit to any man has no business entering into a marital relationship in the first place. No man wants to marry anyone that cannot submit to him, respect and listen to him. Women, you are destroying your own marriage if you cannot submit to any man. It will not work; that is why the Bible admonishes wives to submit to their husbands while husbands are to love their wives.

  1. Extreme Selfish interest over the other person

I have come across many people especially ladies who pass comments like, “He is just using me to satisfy his lust and desires”. If you date an extremely selfish person who is insensitive to your needs, plans and welfare in life, you will definitely feel like you are being used as an object for satisfaction instead of having that mutual respect and treatment you need.

  1. When exes are still in the picture

Once you have moved on in life with another person, know that your exes belong to your past and you must keep them away from influencing your decisions and your future with your current partner.

  1. Unforgiving and finding it difficult to say sorry

You can never live with someone till death do you part without some petty squabbles. Offences are inevitable in relationships and marriages. Deal with the offences as they come.

  1. Extreme selflessness and obvious.

Relationship is always about making sacrifices for each other to show your love and appreciate each other. When selflessness gets to the extreme, it might turn into obsession and this might send a negative signal to your partner. Just imagine an extreme selfless guy who wants to always give 100% of his salary to his girlfriend to please her. Your selflessness at this stage would be seen as a weakness instead of deeper love for your partner.

  1. Lack of regular communication

Anytime communication becomes absent, know that the marriage or the relationship is heading towards extinction. It will not exist again. The relationship or the marriage is dead. Communication is one of the best and surest ways to keep your relationship alive.

  1. When distance becomes a problem

Distance is always a problem when it comes to maintaining any relationship and marriage but where frequent communication, love and transparency exists, distance may not be a problem at all.

  1. Nagging and frequent complaints

This makes your partner coil back into his or her shells and asks whether you guys are really meant for each other. Secondly, you might be tempted to believe that you have seriously found yourself in the wrong relationship and you will wonder whether you were bewitched to have fallen for this person.

  1. Lack of trust and faithfulness

Faithfulness and trust move hand in hand. Anybody that is not faithful cannot be trusted. If you know you cannot marry someone, sit down with the person and take it over and let the person leave in peace instead of cheating.

  1. When you are ungrateful

Anytime you take the kindness, sacrifices, love and efforts of your partner for granted, you are being ungrateful. You must learn to appreciate and be grateful for everything your partner does for you whether little or the bigger ones.

  1. Failure  to apologize

Anytime you find yourself feeling too big and never ready to admit your wrongdoings, apologize and say sorry, then, know that you have an ego that is bigger than your relationship and marriage and it will soon crash.

  1. When all you want is sex, sex and more sex

Anytime you realize that all you want from your partner is sex, sex, more sex and a lot of sex then note that your relationship will soon break. Relationship and marriage is not all about sex and sex all the time.

  1. Leaving things messy

The habit of leaving things in a messy situation can destroy your relationship and your marriage. I once visited a couple. As I entered the sitting room, I was first greeted with the woman’s underwear, singlet and some towels left in the sofa. The man had to quickly push and pack some of the dirty clothes off the sofa before signaling me to sit down. It will surprise you to know that exhibiting messy habits in relationship may not lead to any good marriage.

  1. Addiction to bad habits

Whether alcohol, smoking, sex, being promiscuous or any other habit, addiction to any bad habit is detrimental to your relationship or marriage. Do not be a slave to any addiction; exercise self control over it if you really value your relationship or marriage.

  1. Over jealous and overprotective partner

Being overly jealous and overprotective without giving space to your partner could be very injurious to your relationship or marriage. In case of any issues of trust, sit down and talk about it and stop being overly jealous and overprotective. It will hurt both of you one day.

  1. When friendship and interactions are missing

Your partner is supposed to be your best friend, brother, sister and everything to you. If there is anyone that you always want to hang around with, then that should be your partner. If there is anyone that you enjoy the person’s company more than that of your partner, then, note that you are destroying the bond of friendship that should exist between you.

  1. That deadly secret and skeleton in your cupboard

If there is anything that you are still doing secretly behind your partner then note that, that particular thing has the potential of destroying your relationship and marriage. You must learn to tell your partner any secret which may crop up tomorrow and destroy your trust.

In conclusion, check your habits and some of the things that may destroy your relationship and marriage. Some unconscious personal habits could be a threat to a happy relationship and marriage.

2 Timely Articles For You:
a. 30 Annoying & Insulting Questions You Should Stop Asking Singles

b. 15 Reasons You Should Not Marry A Pretender

Categories
Health & Fitness

11 Effects of Coronavirus (COVID-19) on Churches & Religious Activities

The sudden outbreak of the novel Coronavirus (COVID-19), declared by World Health Organization (WHO) as pandemic took many nations by surprise when they least expected it and prepared for it. Aside the daily escalating number of newly confirmed cases in the world; it was disturbing and very alarming to know that 14,778 souls (as at 23/03/2020) have perished already through the deadly disease.

To reduce the fast spread of this deadly coronavirus (COVID-19), many countries have shutdown their economy, restricted public movements and other economic activities. And now, the question is what are the effects or impact of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) on churches and religious activities across the globe? In this short article, I will discuss the effects of COVID-19 on churches. When done reading, kindly comment to share your ideas with us.

 11 Effects of Coronavirus (COVID-19) on Churches & Religious Activities

  1. Loss of lives from the sickness will lead to loss of membership.
  2. Restricted movement and ban of public gatherings and worship may cause some infant Christians to backslide.
  3. A sharp decline in offertory due to ban on public gatherings will lead to financial crisis for churches and they may find it difficult to pay their pastors, staffs and monthly bills. Some churches have however, developed electronic means for committed members to pay their tithes and offerings regardless of ban on gatherings.
  4. Churches that have taken loans will find it difficult to meet their monthly payment plans to defray their debts since offertory may cease due to non public gatherings.
  5. Some churches, individuals and religious groups that have invested huge amounts of money to host big or international programs thinking they would have the money back have run into huge losses.
  6. Churches and pastors without strong social media presence will starve their members spiritually more especially if those members cannot feed on the word of God and grow on their own.
  7. Some carnal Christians may see the ban on public worship as license to mess around so long as no preacher will keep on hammering into their ears each week to desist from their shameful and sinful ways.
  8. A prolonged ban on public gathering and Christian worship due to the coronavirus may have dire consequences on Christianity. Some members may be lost when the pandemic is over. I will recommend that church leaders will have other means to keep in touch with their members in times like these.
  9. The novel Coronavirus (COVID-19), though a global pandemic issue, is also a test of the Christians faith in the Lord. It is terrible and worst times that prove your faith in the Lord but not when everything is okay in your life. Be steadfast and immovable, abide and shine in the presence of the Lord even in hard times.
  10. The deadly Coronavirus disease has sent much fear and panic globally and people are hungry and thirsty for comfort, hope and solutions. The church is the right institution to offer people hope in times of hopelessness but there has been a ban on public gathering which is also affecting public Christian worship. Many churches and pastors that do not have strong media presence cannot reach many people with their message.
  11. Churches (temples) are closed but worshiping God is open any time. One of the things people need to understand is that, the word ‘church’ does not refer to the building where Christians gather to pray. Christians’ place of meeting to fellowship is called ‘temple’ while ‘church’ refers to the individual Christians called out to be sons and daughters of God. Pastors and church leaders must make their members understand through any platform available and possible to know that public gathering of believers may be closed but worshiping God is an individual affair that must be cultivated at home.

When you go on your knees to pray, pray for Christians worldwide; pray for the nations, the thousands of people dying without knowing Christ and the aftermath of the disease. Indeed, there are a lot of damaging effects of Coronavirus (COVID-19) on churches & religious activities.

Just as coronavirus came in silence so shall it leave in silence. God needs you alive to be His witnesses and testify of His love to the world. Stay blessed and be rapturable!

Categories
Articles

5 Things Not Accepted After Death

It may never occur to you before about things which may not be accepted when you die but the truth of the matter is that, they are still real and the truth. While you still have life and strong alive, I want you to consider these 5 things not accepted after death.

  1. I’m deeply sorry.

The best time to regret, be sorry and repent from your sins is not when you die but while still alive. Time and chance are no longer available to anyone that is dead. Time and chance are still available to those who are alive. The Apostle Peter said, repent every one of you and be baptized and receive the gift of the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:38).

  1. I didn’t know about that – ignorance is not accepted

The Bible emphatically said he who does not believe the son is already condemned (John 3:18). There is no place for argument. Ignorance is no excuse of the dangers that lie ahead of you after death. Once you now know the truth, embrace it and save your soul from the hell fire prepared for those who have not accepted Jesus as LORD and Saviour of their lives. Some things are not accepted after death but now.

  1. Giving a truckload of excuses

To a lot of people, they have had the chance to hear the good news that Jesus still saves; to other people too, they have managed to start attending church but that doesn’t give you salvation if you do not repent from your sinful ways and live a life worthy of your calling into holiness in Christ. No matter the number of excuses you give, it will not be entertained and accepted. Remember, even all your idle words and secret thoughts will be brought before God in judgment (Matt. 12:36-37).

  1. Blaming people won’t set you free

Adam blamed Eve for being the one who gave her the fruit to eat. Eve did likewise by pushing the blame on the serpent for deceiving her but God did not spare the three of them. Adam, Eve and the serpent received their punishments accordingly from God. You cannot pushed all your misfortunes, sinful lives and other things onto people and be free. They will also give account of whatever they did. The Bible said for we shall all appear before God and give account of whatever we did while living in our body whether good or bad (2 Corin. 5:10).

  1. Give me a second chance

It is very sad to know that the Bible said, “It is appointed unto a man to die ONCE and after that, face judgment”, Heb. 9:27. There is nothing like a second chance for you to repent and amend your ways. It is only judgment that awaits us all after death. This is your chance and your day to make a U-turn and turn to God for salvation.

You see the way people die unexpectedly? Let’s live right with God. You only have the chance to get things right while alive not after death. Get connected to Jesus. Time is running out.

If there is any important decision to make today, it should be for eternity. Consider these 5 things not accepted after death.

Other People Also Read these 2 articles:
13 Reasons To Quit Fake Love & Pretending Relationships

15 Reasons Not To Marry A Pretender

Categories
Devotional

DON’T BRING CURSES AND JUDGMENT ON YOURSELF

In life, do not be quick to pass comments, insult people and rain curses on them when things fall apart unexpectedly. Sometimes, our reactions and attitudes towards people in times of crisis and some conditions in life may bring curses and judgment on us regardless of who is wrong and who is right.

Miriam gossiped about Moses and criticized him for marrying a Cushite woman and God heard it, became angry and brought leprosy on her. God Himself asked Miriam, “Are you not afraid to talk against my servant, Moses?” (Num. 12:8). You should be afraid to talk evil, say all manner of things and even insult some people especially, Men of God. You have no idea of the covenant God has with some people so be careful how you deal with people regardless of their age.

Korah and his rebellious friends spoke against Moses and God sent down fire to destroy all the 250 people rebelling alive. God again inflicted 14,700 people with plagues as punishment for speaking against the death of the 250 rebellious group of Korah (Num. 16:41ff).

Laban pursued Jacob and was poised to dish out some insults to him for leaving his house without notice and God appeared to Laban in his dream warning him neither to talk good or evil to Jacob, else, He God Himself will deal with Laban bitterly (Gen. 31:24). The fact that someone did the wrong thing and you are right does not mean that you have the right and the power to talk trash to them. Laban was warned by God to shut up or face the consequences of his actions which may attract the judgment of God on him or perhaps, some curses.

Be careful how you tongue-lash some people saying all manner of evil about them when you may rather be at fault. Take note that, God Himself promised Abraham saying “I’ll bless those who bless you and curse those who curse you” (Gen. 12:3). Cursing people who treat you bad and curse you is the work of God Himself. Do not take the place of God no matter what people do to you. God Himself says, it is my duty to bless those who bless you and curse those who curse you.

Remember, you have the right to say anything at all you want but the Bible says you’ll account for every careless and idle word you speak on Judgment Day (Matt. 12:36). Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth but that which brings grace to the hearers (Eph. 4:29). Be careful, else you will say or do something that will bring both judgment and curses on you.

If you can’t forgive and settle your misunderstanding with your friends, then don’t poison the minds of people about them. If you can’t honour someone, don’t disgrace them! God is watching and listening! Don’t bring curses and judgment on yourself!

 

Categories
Love

13 Reasons To Quit Fake Love & Pretending Relationships

Dear Singles & Married,

I welcome you all to the month of February, the month of Love. One of the most disturbing things about matters of the heart is fake love and pretending in relationships.

When it comes to matters of the heart, it is not something that one should toy with and take it lightly. While many people’s life have been transformed for the better because of relationships and marriage, a lot more are badly wounded and living with bleeding hearts and deadly emotional scars.

If you do not love someone anymore, let them go. For it is better to break a relationship than marriage. Do not deceive that person knowing very well that you are not genuinely in love and you can’t marry that person and live with him or her.

Living in pretence in relationships has the following disadvantages. I would want to share the 13 reasons to quit any fake love and pretending relationships you find yourself with you.

  1. It makes you a hypocrite
  2. You’re never of yourself
  3. You don’t have hope for the future
  4. You live in lies, fake love relationship and falsehood, playing hide and seek games
  5. Your conscience is always arresting and condemning you
  6. You don’t find true happiness in love
  7. Your heart is always yearning & searching to be attached to the right person
  8. You easily cheat on your unloved partner
  9. You are never pleased with anything the person does.
  10. You don’t care about that person
  11. You are just wasting each other’s time
  12. The worst form of depression is to force yourself to live with someone you don’t love and cannot trust.
  13. You may find it very difficult to plan for the future since you do not see yourself in his or her future.

If you find yourself in a pretending or faking relationship where you know you can never marry your partner, sit down and talk about it and let the person go in peace.

If you are already married and find yourself in similar situations, pray for God’s grace and seek professional counseling where possible.

I wish you well in your relationships and marriages. True love really exist (1 Cor.13)

Kindly share these 13 reasons to quit fake love and pretending relationships with friends and loved ones and share your views by commenting in the box provided.

Categories
Motivation

5 Ways To Achieve Better Results In The Year 2020

Most of the time, many people begin the new year with high hopes and anticipations based on their personal visions, revelations and projects they hope to achieve before the new year 2020 ends. Sometimes, some people have a lot of personal goals and visions they hope to achieve but unfortunately, they end the year with little results or not being able to achieve their visions for the year.

It is important to have not too many goals each year to enable you to remain focused in a particular direction. At least, have 3 important goals. This is very important in order to channel all your resources, time and efforts in those directions for maximum results and impart.

In this short article, I will be sharing with you the 5 ways to achieve better results in the year 2020. It doesn’t matter the visions you have and the prophetic declarations over your life in this year, how far you go depends on the following:

  1. Manage your time

Anything that wastes your time also wastes your life. Don’t waste your entire time and data just browsing and only chatting with people. Have a daily plan for your and make sure you stick it to avoid unnecessarily wasting time on unproductive activities that steal your time.

  1. Manage Your Resources:

If you do not know how to manage people, time, money and other resources made available to you, then know that you will struggle in life. For these things are part of the essential things we cannot do without in life so learn to manage them to achieve better results in the year 2020.

  1. Add value to your life

In the year 2020, make it a point to read a book, learn a trade, acquire a particular skill, learn vocational skill to enhance your entrepreneurial skills and any other thing that will enhance your employable skills and add value to your life. There are so many DIY Videos (Do it yourself videos) available on YouTube for your to learn from.

  1. Manage your relationship with both God

You have to acknowledge the fact that you can do many things in this world but life in this world and beyond is incomplete without God. In Proverbs 16:3, the Bible says that commit to the Lord whatever you do and your plans will succeed. Remember, Proverbs 21:31 says that “Horses are made ready for war but victory comes from the Lord”.

  1. Manage your relationship with man.

Whatever be your plans on earth, know that you do not live all alone in this world. You will definitely have to interact with people. It is incumbent on you to know how to manage the relationships that God bring your way. He who knows how to manage people will surely achieve his goals. On the contrary, if you do not have the people skills then know that you will struggle in life.

Did you enjoy the article entitled the 5 ways to achieve better results in the year 2020? If you did, then kindly comment in the box below to share your experiences and ideas with us.

 

Categories
Love

Stop Dreaming About Your Marriage & Start Working On It

Dear singles, there is no love in marriage, no happiness, no care, no pleasure and no bond of friendship. If there’s anything like true love, then note that 2 people make up their minds to put it there. If there are care, happiness, memorable pleasure and a unique bond of friendship, then note that people made efforts to put them there. Stop dreaming about your marriage and start working on it!

Your investment in your marriage determines the possible returns you will get. If you sow lies, deception, laziness, unfaithfulness, immoral acts, bad character and little compromises to sin, then note that you have already given the devil the license to have a hand in your marriage. If the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do? (Psalm 11:3). Marriage is work so if the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do?

How you desire to have your marriage determines the kind of effort to make.

Ladies, don’t JUST say “I want to marry a God-fearing, loving and caring man who’s well established”. That’s good anyway but ask yourself whether you also possess those qualities. Remember, you’ll always attract your kind of partner in life.

Marriage is like tasty Jollof, how you want it determines the ingredients you will need but Skill and wisdom must be applied.

Remember that those skills are not in marriage, they are acquired.

Dear Single Ladies, your waiting singlehood time for your groom is also a learning and preparation time but not freedom to mess around.

Don’t be a foolish virgin without extra oil. Your extra oil refers to your added values, good character and skills learned.

Be conscious and deliberate about developing and keeping yourself.

To most men, your physical appearance catches their attention first but your character catches their heart to see you as marriage material.

Sadly, many ladies only invest in their looks neglecting their spirituality, morality, profession and other equally good areas. Live a balanced life.

Listen to me, whatever good thing you desire to have in your marriage is possible but remember that people have to be responsible enough to work towards it. Stop dreaming and start working on it

Categories
Jokes

Funny Divorce Joke

After a series of hot arguments which were not resolved, a couple went to a divorce court to sever ties with each other after 10 years of marriage.

Judge:    Did you really consider your decisions before seeking a divorce?

Couple:   Yes, Sir (They responded in unison)

Judge:    Should I allow you one more week to think through your decision?

Couple:   No Sir! We want a divorce now! (They chorused their response)

Judge:    Between the two of you, who do you think is working against your marriage?

Man:       She is the cause

Woman:  She is the real problem here

Judge:    It seems both of you have a hand in this issue and it can be solved by both without any divorce. Can we talk about the issues bothering you and solve the problem instead of divorce being the last option you have chosen?

Couple:   No, Sir! Divorce now!

Judge:     How will you handle the car that you both contributed money to buy?

Couple:   “We shall sell it and share the money,” they said in unison again.

Judge:     I know that this marriage has been blessed with 3 wonderful kids that you have three kids? How will you share your kids too?

Couple: (After a long discussion between the two couple seeking a divorce, they reached an agreement and said to the judge): “No problem sir, we shall come back next year with one more kid making it four to make the sharing easier.

The following year, the judge bumped into the couple in a mall doing shopping together and he was glad thinking the couple had mended the broken relationship.

Judge: I’m glad to see you guys happily living together and I thank God that divorce is

  no longer your last option.

Couple: We still want a divorce! Sir, this is not a joke. We are not joking!

Judge:       O, why?

Man:         We wanted another baby to make it 4 to make the sharing easier but                                 unfortunately, we had twins this year making the number of kids 5.

Woman:    We are considering having another baby next year making it 6 so please pray

 for us.

Judge:      I wonder who even joined the 2 of you together in the first place.

Did you enjoy our funny joke? Kindly comment and tell us your joke or experience on any funny divorce joke.

Categories
Articles

16 Types of Pastors You’ll Find In Every Bible School

Having interacted with most of the outgone and outgoing pastoral students (overseers & pastors) for the past 6 years at PCC, some of them never cease to point to the fact that we are likely to meet different caliber of students at the seminary.

In this article, I’ll share with us a few of the characters we are likely to meet on campus.

16 Types of Pastors You’ll Find In Every Bible School

  1. Friend to all: They easily flow with anyone regardless of tribe, colour, and nationality. That’s the hallmark of every good pastor. Pastors must learn to be a people person, thus friend to all manner of people.
  2. The sharpeners: Iron sharpens iron. Getting closer to them sharpens your own ministry.
  1. The each other’ keeper supplier: You are likely to come across a really broke pastor who’s anointed but has no money. Let’s learn to support and cover-up without exposing them. Anointing without money is an annoyance and you may doubt the calling on your head.
  1. The unrefined pastor: They exhibit characters that make you wonder whether they were really called or they just joined to add up to the numbers required. Their words and deeds leave much to be desired. Anyway, the Bible School is a refinery on its own but it can’t refine us until we change our minds.
  1. Leaders: Real leaders will naturally emerge once the seed has been planted already. Right from Bible School, you will notice those pastors who will be great leaders. However, others choose to remain cool and never show off what they could do.
  1. Lords & masters: You will soon get to know those who are already acting like Apostles and Area Heads or General Overseers. Respect one another but not lord over them.
  1. The living in Sin, Shame & Disgrace Pastor: These are the pastors that hide behind the grace of God and do unimaginable things. They get exposed eventually. Sometimes, it’s your past life they may chase you and disgrace and destroy the beauty of today and tomorrow. Let’s all learn to be careful and prayerful.
  1. Pride: Never forget that we are called by grace and not thru works. Let’s love and respect one another and kick pride out. You can never go far in ministry as a pastor when you have pride as a companion.
  1. Egypt mentality pastors: They always talk as if they were begged by their pastors and Area Heads or Bishops to go into ministry for them. They are in school but get worried upon the slightest thing that frustrates them and wished they were in their circular jobs.
  1. Spiritual show-offs: Of course, you are likely to meet those who show off with their spiritual gift things. Don’t forget that we are called and gifted differently. Your gift is not important than ours.
  1. The first impression champions: When school resumes, you will hear pastoral students praying in grandfather tongues at dawn for personal devotions but this may fade out by the end of the first month. Their real character and devotional life will eventually show up, not what you were acting to be.
  1. Loner: He’s always alone and prefers to be alone. That could be their nature but know when to mingle and when to single out yourself.
  1. Too Busy Pastor: Don’t always make yourself too busy. Stress and stroke are killing some pastors. All work and no play, make you a dull minister. Find time to rest and play small.
  1. The silent gurus: Each year, there are some gurus that come into ministry but sometimes remain reserved and keep cool. Bible school is a period to learn and tap into the knowledge and experience of others.
  1. The firebrands: They are always on their knees crying onto God for the fire, anointing and the unction to function. To these groups of people, ministry is more of warfare than merely an academic work.
  2. 16. The deliverance pastors: To them, they have Elijah’s anointing, always wanting to call down fire to destroy the works of the enemy. Sometimes, they turn to over-spiritualize everything around them.

 

 

Categories
Devotional

Turn Your Faith Into Your Miracle