Effective Communication: THE PILLAR for every sustainable Marital Relationship.

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Pillar provides great and formidable support. They hold the success and achievement of every structure that is ever built. Just like the foundation of buildings, pillars provide firmness for which the roof of a building is erected and projected.

Likewise in every relationship, effective communication provides the pillar for longevity, firmness, and support for our relationships. Most relationships break when communication breaks. However, the weaker the pillar, the danger the building becomes. In relationships, selfishness and egocentric desires, weaken communication and break down the loving and caring relationships that started on a good foundation.

This means that, having a good and strong foundation without having strong pillars to provide adequate supports, will break and collapse that building. How many relationships have collapsed although they started or were built on good foundation of love and respect?

You can’t be in any relationship and be selfish. Communication in a relationship should never be a one-way traffic but a two-way. Talking about issues should not be what one partner wants without thinking about his or her partner’s feelings. Therefore, when people express their thoughts and ideas comfortably, it helps to discover what each partner wants without the feeling being talked about at or controlled.

“Without communication, there is no relationship. Without respect, there is no love. Without trust, there is no reason to continue.”-Unknown

Talking about things helps to bring about transparency into relationships and creates the platforms on which issues are tackled in love and with respect.

It has the potential to remove any form of doubt and insecurity, loss of hope, and emotional breakdown which sometimes affect and destroy the relationship. Two people living together in a relationship is fun only when both parties are ready to talk about things in a sensible and matured manner without one party feeling deprived or deceived.

Openness is one of the benefits of effective communication within a relationship. It helps partners to understand and adapt to each other’s flaws and mistakes. The only way to understand someone is to learn to talk to them. This is the more reason why people are encouraged to talk about things in any relationship.

Over the years that I married my wife, I have personally observed that our trust for each other builds up stronger when we let things out by talking about them. We are not perfect but talking about issues that bother us individually help us to realign ourselves and build the confidence and trust we had for each when we first met. There are difficult times in every relationship but with effective communication, those hurdles or challenges are levelled and love is ignited. My wife and I have discovered that, in order for us to have a healthy relationship and live longer to achieve our dreams and aspirations and also to help our children appreciate and learn how to talk to us, it is important that we create time to speak to each other as often as we can.

“A healthy relationship is only possible if you sit and talk about things.”

Often times, I have the desire to travel for mission work and my wife will not be in agreement simply because I have not been able to communicate the vision and the purpose for that mission. This therefore creates insecurity and lack of support on her part. When this happens, I cancel the mission trip to avoid unnecessary misunderstanding and problems arising which may have the potential to affect me more than her. If you ever wanted a support from your partner, then you must learn to talk about things. Talk openly to your partner and create the right environment where you can both share ideas and feelings.

Again, I have discovered that we get closer to each other when we talk openly on matters that are beyond us. Talking to each other about anything helps us to know how much we need each other to achieve success within the family union. We are ready and able to support any idea raised by each of us and have each other’s backing. This is what a healthy relationship is about.

No Love Without Communication

Love is actually built on the platform of communication. So when this fails, love is also broken. Stop allowing all sorts of negative things to slip through to break the relationship. Doubt, misunderstandings, insecurities, mistrust or faithlessness are some of the other negative things that can be created if things are not talked about within the relationship.

“A good relationship requires two constants; constant communication and constant sacrifice.”-Unknown

It is advisable that couples learn to understand the need to talk about things to each other if only they want to save their relationship. It takes a lot to build a healthy relationship so never allow silence treatment destroy or kill your relationships. Whatever the issue seems to be is time to talk about it.

It is very necessary for each partner to come out clearly with what they want to talk about. This is how relationships grow and yield much fruits. We may not always be in the position to agree with our partners but talking about things put the relationship on a solid ground to provide emotional support, help in making decisions, and encouragement concerning the future.

Set aside quality time. In order to get the best out of any communication within the relationship, partners should be able to set aside suitable time for both of them to talk about things without being interrupted or disturbed by their children or phone calls. It is also useful to change location or environment to talk about things. Nothing should be left hanging or unaddressed in the relationship.

A good environment can be created to talk which may include taking a walk, a visit to the beach or a place that brings good memories to both partners. That period can be used to express how you feel about each other and try to resolve any ill feelings that could disable the relationship. This is the time to talk about things.

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Ferdinard Lawson graduated from Sussex University and holds a BSc Degree in Public Health and Social Care. He is the Founder & C.E.O of Ferdinard Lawson Empowerment & Inspirational Agency C.I.C (FLEiA.CIC) in UK, Public Health Professional, Author, Lifestyle Coach, Transformational & Public Speaker and Publication Consultant. He is a Multiple Awards Winning Author, Public Speaker and a Lifestyle Coach. He has published many inspirational, motivational books, and leadership books and full member of the Royal society for Public Health. England. He is currently the Co-Chairman of Mega (Kingston Hospital Trust)

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