I Watch Porn & Masturbate. Please Help

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Please what should I do to stop watching porn videos and movies?  I normally download them from the net and i have no option than to masturbate after watching. I’m 26 years and this has been going on for the past 3 years. After watching, i make unnecessary demands from my girlfriend for sex but she won’t mind me because she is a virgin. I feel bad about it thereafter. Please help me.

Joseph, Accra.

(Joseph’s contact details cannot be published due to our confidentiality policy)

Our Counselor Says:

Welcome Joseph,

Your question is “What should I do to stop watching porn videos and movies”? You also said, you masturbate after watching, and you have been doing this for the past 3 years.

My initial response is you need a continuous cognitive and behavioral therapy. You can’t stop abrupt, it is a process. Perhaps you have made efforts to stop in the past but later relapsed (went back to it). I want to assure you that you can eventually stop if you are willing and determined.

Now read the following carefully with deep understanding and start practicing them as soon as you finish reading. I will like to receive feedback from you after one week beginning from the day you read this.

  1. Identify your triggers:

Keep a notebook and write the times you crave pornography or watch it. Write down a description of the scene directly before the craving started, including your mood, what you were doing, and how you were feeling that day. Stress, lack of sleep, friends who engage in or talk about porn, or easy access to pornography are all possible triggers.

  1. Strategically plan to thwart your triggers.

When possible, avoid triggers altogether. If seeing semi-erotic TV ads is a trigger, avoid watching programmes that may have that kind of content. If the trigger is unavoidable, make a mental plan in advance for what you will do in that situation. Picture yourself ignoring the trigger, thinking of what to make for dinner instead, or leaving the computer and taking a walk outside.

  1. Seek Support From People:

Find someone who will support you through the high points (craving) and low. This will make quitting much easier.

  1. Destroy your pornography collection (Eg. Discs, magazines etc.)

As long as these materials are around, falling back into the habit will be easy. Delete pornographic files on your computer and mobile devices.

  1. Install anti-porn software on your computer and mobile devices.

Let someone (say a friend) create the password for you in secret without you yourself knowing the password, so you are not able to bypass the block.

  1. Turn off the WiFi or unplugged your internet Connection

Turn off the WiFi or unplugged your internet cable from your computer or mobile device whenever you are trying to circumvent your site-blocking software. The more steps it takes to get back online, the less likely you are to give in during a moment of weakness.

  1. Find something else to occupy yourself or fill your time with other activities.

If you spend your free time bored and alone, the temptation to seek out porn will be more difficult to resist.

  1. Start a daily exercise routine.

Exercise releases endorphins and other “feel good” chemicals, many people use it to compensate when quitting an addiction. As much as practicable, ask a friend to introduce you to his hobby.

  1. You May Seek Further Professional Help

You may seek further professional help in your area where you can meet the therapist frequently.

Send me feedback for me to know how you are progressing.

(For Counseling and Prayer Request, forward all your concerns to: infochristo1@gmail.com

Counselor’s Profile:

Elder Henry Acheampong Obo

BA Family Counseling.

MPhil Counseling Psychologist.

Email: counselor36@gmail.com

Area of Expertise: 

Clinical Counselling, Psychotherapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Family Therapy, Life Coach, Career/Group Counselling, Mentoring).

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