What a journey? My wife and I are celebrating our 12 years of marriage today, 24th September, and we are grateful to the King of Kings for keeping us along the journey of marriage. We just want to share a few words of inspiration and encouragement to all up and coming young and vibrant couples to empower them on this journey of marriage.
If it wasn’t for the Lord on our side, leading us on; we would have given up on this journey long ago. Life is a journey and so is marriage. However, to embark on the journey of marriage, it will require of you some great level of faith, trust and hope. It will demand of you patience, longsuffering and understanding of the partner you are on the journey with.
Most often, we give up not because of the difficulties on the journey but the character, attitude, and behaviour of our partners which sometimes divert the focus, attention and direction we all have for the journey.
Just as there are many traffic lights on motorways or roads we drive on so are there also traffic lights of marriage that try to stop us on the journey of marriage. These traffic lights on the roads do not stop us permanently from the journey. They just slow us down for a little while and then vooooooooooom, we zoom off towards the direction of our journey.
Now, marriage traffic lights are not there to stop us from the vision, purpose and direction of the union we have entered but to slow us down sometimes when we are speeding into unforeseen dangers. It is our respective behaviours that stop us from the journey of marriage.
There are challenges in every marriage but it takes the grace of God, prayer, the Word of God, and the purpose the couples have to stay on the route of marriage. There is nothing like marriage made in heaven. Marriages are made here and must be enjoyed here. This therefore means married couples must learn to have a focus, direction, vision and purpose for their journey.
There are many things couples can to do to maintain safe journey on the highway of marriage. However, we would like to highlight the need for effective communication in marriages as one of the ways to enjoy the journey of marriage which kept us for all these 12 years and still journeying along gracefully.
“Everybody has the need to be listened to and be fully understood.”
It takes two people to have an effective and productive conversation at any level. This implies that for people or couples to have a solid relationship, they must ensure that good communication is put in the heart of that relationship to start with. Two people cannot walk together except they agree and the only thing that makes that possible is effective communication.
Couples should be able to feel free to talk about things without their partner feeling undermined, disregarded or disrespected on a view that may be sensitive to him or her.
Observably, one of the main reasons why relationships don’t work effectively is because people are not talking or are refusing to communicate as they should, hence, this causes each other pain and frustration within the relationship.
It is true that people are different on the basis of their backgrounds, values and outlooks or views (perceptions) which create different comfort zones for them. So, talking about issues or challenges within the relationship is seen as a hurdle. This then discourages them from talking about serious issues within their relationship because they do not want to be seen by their partners as nagging or causing trouble.
When people fail to talk about issues within their relationships, it creates unnecessary misunderstanding, distance, indifference and even competition, aggression and verbal violence towards each other simply because issues have not been discussed.
Relationship is the centre of our lives and it takes communication to express the love we have for each other. When this is achieved, it can easily lead to feelings of joy for being together, lightheartedness, inner peace, contentment with life, a deep inner wisdom with each other. Therefore, this article is written to help rebuild relationships that are on the verge of break-up. It serves as a fence-builder to prevent other relationships from falling into the ditch of separation especially when the partners pay attention to effective communication.
Although it is a fact that some people find it difficult to talk about some vital personal experiences especially on subjects like their childhood relationships and how it ended up badly, or their past life due to negative flashbacks or hurts, it is my heart’s desire that after reading this article, partners will relearn and learn how to talk to each other the more regardless of the challenging issues.
This will develop love and affection for each other as they embrace their various differences; communicate more effectively and openly without fear but in respect to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings that have plagued many relationships causing hurt, anger, confusion and painful divorce over the years.
Exactly 12 years ago today, we said I do “to each other without knowing how we were going to survive.
Through the storms, valleys, mountains, cliffs, tsunami and hurricanes of marital life, the LORD has kept us together. Whilst the rich are divorcing left, right, centre and backwards, the LORD has kept us together. When people, leaders, bishops and high profile personalities we trusted turned their back at us, the LORD kept us together.
We are together because the LORD kept us together for all these years for His glory and praise. We are not the perfect couple in town but the favour, blessings and grace of God rest upon us. The LORD has kept us together because marriage is by grace. The LORD has been good to us.
As we celebrate our 12 years in marriage, it is our prayer that, those connected to us will also celebrate their marriages in happiness, gladness and fruitfulness. Join us to thank God for His blessings upon us. Thank you all who stood with us from the beginning of this journey. God bless you too. Marriage is indeed a journey not a destination. KEEP MOVING ON!!!