Is Social Media Ruining Your Relationship? – Ferdinard Senyo Lawson

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It is shocking to discover how flirting seems to be easy these days on social media especially in the use of Facebook and WhatsApp. The reason for this is because of the rate at which technology and the Internet have increased in our society.

Many people are now using mobile phones, laptops or other smart devices. These gadgets have contributed to the breakdown of effective communication between couples. They however promote flirtatious habits with other opposite sex over the Internet especially on social media.

In this article, I will be exploring how social media and the Internet have contributed to the breakdown of effective communication within relationships and how couples, family and relationships can tackle this 21st century cause of breakdown in their relationships.

There is no doubt that social media has contributed a lot in the development of social structures, helping in education and increasing of knowledge. However, it has also played a massive role in family breakdown. Although some may argue that social media can be a substitute to real life relationships, it can also be argued that valuable time could be used to develop or form real relationships and build effective communication among couples instead of allowing social media to occupy those valuable times.

Over the years, we have all communicated verbally and nonverbally thus allowing face to face interaction and conversation. Nowadays, recent improvements in technology and Internet have shifted the mode of communication among couples and contributed to isolation.

Prior to the writing of this article , I spoke to some ten couples regarding this subject and six out of the ten agreed that social media has affected the way they communicate within their relationship but two out of the ten said they never use social media and therefore, they have managed their marital relationship perfectly.

From personal observation, social media affect the way couples interact or behave towards each other in a relationship especially where it has taken the centre of the relationship.

It is very necessary that couples talk about this aspect of their relationship and never overlook it when it is causing breakdown within the family home.

Although the usage of social media can be seen as a tool for reducing and eliminating loneliness, it can also be a tool for destroying relationships.

These, on the other hand, create unnecessary arguments between couples. A partner can easily get jealous of their partner for using social media too much and he or she may feel intimidated, isolated and ignored in the relationship which may lead to the breakdown of communication, and hinder the growth of the relationship.

Too much of everything can be very destructive to us as human beings and social media is not exempted. It is advised that couples learn to discuss any challenges arising because of social media that may hamper the stability of the relationship. Couples should be able to spend valuable time together and must be free to express the disapproval of time a partner spends on social media.

It is important that couples value and respect the time they spend together especially when they are home. They must never allow the distraction of social media take their focus and attention off each other. People are different and interact differently to things. Therefore, if a partner does not like to use any social media, he or she must not control or prevent their partner from using it. A partner may get so worried or disturbed about the sort of information the other partner shares on social media and that could be a starting point for trouble and argument.

When this happens, it will be inappropriate to get confrontational with your partner. Rather, find time to talk about your feelings amicably or both partners can devise other means of resolving the issue.

Relationship is meant to be enjoyed between husband and wife sharing good time without a third party. Allowing social media in your relationship can easily contribute to breakdown or divorce especially when one is found to be cheating on their partner.

It will be better and wiser to be self-aware or alert of the potential damages social media could have on the relationship and avoid it. Never allow social media to control your relationship. Take control of it before your relationship is destroyed. Business couples must endeavour to explain to each other the importance of their using social media for business purposes but should not allow it to drag the relationship into dispute.

As a lifestyle coach and writer, I use social media a lot to reach out to clients or mentees who need to speak with me but cannot come to my house. I use Facebook a lot to promote my books and other events that I deem necessary to invite others to attend. However, I do not overdo it. I limit the time I spend on Facebook, Twitter and WhatsApp.

This is because I try to spend quality time with my family especially the children to do their homework, reading and other family outing such as going to the cinema or visiting friends. This has made my life very easy and smooth without any argument or creating an idea in my wife’s mind. Although sometimes I struggle to maintain this technique, I try not to allow it to control my relationship with my family.

There is always time for everything. Therefore, couples should never use their family times to be on social media. Family time is family time. You cannot save the whole world and leave or break your family union. So, it is dangerous to spend more time on social media and neglect your partner or family.

A relationship without trust can never stand and grow.

It is crucial that couples learn to trust each other when it comes to social media. We should never forget that we are individuals. Some people are very introvert whiles others are extrovert. This means that a partner could be very opened about how he or she deals with his or her social media status.

The other partner should be able to understand and do not control the partner from using social media when there is trust. This goes a long way to prevent jealousy, insecurity, and doubt against each other. This can’t be possible without partners finding time to talk about it.

TO BE CONTINUED…………….

Before you leave, read this article:10 Ways To Know You Are A Blessing To People

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Ferdinard Lawson graduated from Sussex University and holds a BSc Degree in Public Health and Social Care. He is the Founder & C.E.O of Ferdinard Lawson Empowerment & Inspirational Agency C.I.C (FLEiA.CIC) in UK, Public Health Professional, Author, Lifestyle Coach, Transformational & Public Speaker and Publication Consultant. He is a Multiple Awards Winning Author, Public Speaker and a Lifestyle Coach. He has published many inspirational, motivational books, and leadership books and full member of the Royal society for Public Health. England. He is currently the Co-Chairman of Mega (Kingston Hospital Trust)

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