Top 20 Funny Quotes From Ghana’s December 7 Elections

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Many Ghanaians are now sitting on tenterhooks as they anxiously wait for the declaration of the December 7 General Election Results by the Electoral Commission (EC). The more the EC waits, the more pressure and tension mounts on both the ruling party and the biggest opposition party. Several press conferences have been done by both parties to declare themselves as the winner of the December 7 Elections.

Well, I am not here to add up to the confusion, pressure and tension mounting up in the system but to make you laugh to release them and be free.

Kindly note that this is purely a hilarious quote and the creative works of the writer and blogger, Ernest K. Akorli, just for comic relieve and never meant to degrade or insult anyone. Please no hard feelings here, so let’s laugh together.

Top 20 Funny Quotes From Ghana’s December 7 Elections

  1. Self-witchcraft is when you are able to queue in the hot and unfriendly African sun for 4 hours just to vote for a politician to live a better life and chop your money better but you cannot sit down for  2 hours and plan your own life. My brother, you need some lashes, double baptism and deliverance.
  1. To the ladies, if you are very pretty and dating a politician but he is still cheating on you with another lady who is no better match to your beauty and character, then know that, that woman may be into vote buying. Don’t say your guy has been bewitched, vote buying is the language politicians understand.
  1. NPP said: “We are winning”. NDC said: “We are comfortably leading” but we all know who is trailing. The Electoral Commission can pretend not to know, we all know the results already.
  1. People like Asiedu Nketiah (General Mosquito) should stay away from speaking at Press Conferences when the foreign observers and media are around. They will capture him on BBC, CNN and Aljazeera and the whole world will be confused. The whites will think there is a terrible famine in Ghana if a whole General Secretary is looking skinny this way and wonder how the average Ghanaian will look like. Please keep General Mosquito off the media, he can be the leader of the Special Delegates to secure a big loan for Ghana at the World Bank at no interest.
  1. I’m still thinking of what the politicians who scored 0.11% from the Presidential Elections will tell their children for performing poorly in school. May be it’s genetic; like father like son or like mother like daughter.
  1. Sorry to the ladies who are dating politicians or getting married to them; even when they know that they are losing, they will organize many press conferences to deceive their followers and give them false hope.
  1. The behavior of the leadership of the NDC reminds me of King Herod in the Bible. When he heard that the King of the Jews, the Messiah had been born, he did everything to kill him and prevent him from reigning but he never succeeded.
  2. To the ladies, henceforth, you must respect short men because the finest gentleman on the land in 2017 will be a short and a cute man. No more flexing the short men. Short people are bae.
  1. A loser is the man that hears the word change but goes ahead to build interchanges thinking it will please his people.
  1. Blessed are the politicians who borrowed more money from their bankers and people for election campaigns and vote buying but lost at the end, for they shall not enjoy the Christmas and New Year because debtors and bankers will come after them.
  1. Many of you won’t mind your pastors and bishops if they had told you that there will be a great supernatural encounter at an all-night service but a lot of you will do all night sessions sitting by your radio and Tv sets listening to Election Results. Some of you will bind, cast and loose “sleep & dozing off” so that they won’t change the results while you sleep.
  1. One Ghana, One Election, One Vote But Many False Declarations. Don’t be surprised because most politicians don’t tell us the truth.
  1. Disloyalty is where you own over 75 companies and over 6000 employees nationwide and still score zero percent even when the EC uses your banking premises for a polling station. Know that you have employed only the opposition members who will do everything to sabotage your ideas.
  1. Who votes for who is none of my business but I don’t understand the great love exhibited by the prisoners who voted for the NDC to stay in power and not be like them when a former minister openly said that most of the NDC guys will be in prison if they lose the elections. You are still suffering in prison for stealing a small amount of money but you do not want the chief stealers too to come to where you are?
  1. It is very frustrating when you do many press conferences to declare that you are in a comfortable lead but the other aspirants and the US Ambassador to Ghana go ahead and congratulate another person for winning.
  1. To the NPP, the Ghanaians who voted for you today will do same as the NDC to you if you refuse to listen to the voice of the people.
  1. Don’t go to work late and tease your boss especially if he is in the losing team. You could risk your job and get fired.
  1. I can only imagine the missed feelings of the wife of the independent presidential candidate. Anytime her friends call her Madam First Lady, she will not know whether they are happy for her or simply mocking at her.
  1. I don’t know what is happening in the Volta Region which is the World Bank of the NDC for votes. It seems they are now turning into microfinance companies because of the unfavourable conditions of the NDC government.
  1. A strong man and a man of faith is the one who loses most of his men in parliament and still have hope that all is well. It is not over until the EC will say game over.

Did you have a good laugh from the Top 20 Funny Quotes from the Ghana’s December 7 Elections? Tell us which one is your favourite quote by commenting.

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